Showing posts from May, 2016

Wrist-y Business

I got home from taking Rachel to Civil Air Patrol this evening and realized that I have no chocolate available. None. Nada. Zip. As I pawed desperately through the vitamin cabinet (my stash location) and Larry's coffee cabinet (his stash location), I found myself questioning just what sort of life I am living and what my priorities really are, if I could allow such a cacao-less situation to exist. An existential crisis, if you will, at 10 PM on a Tuesday night...

In the end, I had to steal some of Susie's birthday chocolate. I'm not proud of it, but there you are.

[Put witty segue here - I can't think of one right now]

The clip on my Fitbit Zip broke off over a month ago, so last week I ordered a special wristband thingie to fit my Zip into. That way I could be like all the cool kids who buy the expensive Fitbits that they wear on their wrists. Only MY wristband would be way prettier. So it arrived today, and wouldn't it have been nice to have been able to put my p…

Lazy, Hazy, Crazy

Brian, having reached the magic age of 16 and all, finally managed to land a "real" job (as opposed to all the yard work, pet sitting, and garbage-can hauling he's been doing over the past few years for the neighbors). And can I just say here that, hey, I'm against child labor as much as the next guy, but people? 15-year-olds are really old enough to work; what's more, they would be much happier and healthier working scheduled jobs than spending all their free time on their smartphones. So what is UP with all the extra laws about employing under-16's that keep employers from hiring them? 2 years of a part-time job is not long enough to save for college, you know.

Where was I? Oh, yes, so Brian was just hired, and can I just say here how impressed I am by the hiring people at Best Buy who realized what an awesome employee he would be? What a great store!

Dang, I'm proud.

Where am I going with this? I have no idea. Oh, well, moving on...

Summer hit us with…

Missing: One Cute Squeezy Baby

Susie turned 11 today. My BABY turned 11. She opened presents (2 stuffed puppies, one hair straightener, a scarf, a tote bag, and a bunch of candy). We went bowling with some friends, and we took her out to dinner. On the way out of the restaurant, Susie found a $20 bill in the parking lot. Because she leads a charmed life, that girl does.

Susie helped Anna make her cake. They added in sugared strawberries, powdered strawberry jello, and homemade strawberry jam. They covered it with cream cheese/strawberry/sugar frosting. I can't even LOOK at it without needing insulin.

After cake, we watched "Raiders of the Lost Ark." You see, in our family, you have to wait until you are 11 to watch that movie. Not quite as good as receiving a Hogwarts letter, I know, but it will have to do. [Fun fact: the actor who plays the African pirate ship captain also plays Kingsley Shacklebolt in the Harry Potter movies.]

So I think we can all agree it was a pretty good day, so far as 11th bir…


Remember this, last summer? When I was in a lot of pain and thought it was my gall bladder, but it wasn't, and then I thought it was my pancreas, but it wasn't, and it turned out to be shingles? Well, in the middle of all that, I had a dental cleaning scheduled, which naturally I canceled.

That was 9 MONTHS AGO.

Somewhere, along about January, I thought, "Oh, hey, I missed that appointment, which means it's been a year since I've had my teeth cleaned. I need to call and make a new appointment." And, of course, I didn't. I was too busy, if "busy" is what you call sitting around and avoiding housework while whining about not having a job. So a few more months passed and I thought, "Oh, hey, now it's over a year and I really need to act like a grown-up and make an appointment." I even took the effort to install a new calendar app on my IPad at one point and carefully add to the to-do list "Make dental appointment."


Procrastination Is Healthy

Well! I woke up yesterday, feeling worse than ever, and read all your comments on the last post and thought, "Yup, I definitely should go to the doctor. But not today. Today I have to bake brownies for Susie's Girl Scout thing and go to Target for more hair products and go to the store for dinner ingredients. And then I have to cook dinner. But tomorrow! Tomorrow I will go to the doctor."

Wouldn't you know, by 9 PM last night, I felt perfectly fine? Apparently, just planning to go the doctor has a salubrious effect. Or else it was the brownies...

And now, here we are - it's raining again. May has been confused this year, thinking it's April, and we have been having cold rains all month - not even the summer thunderstorms that we tend to get in May. Just cold dreary rain. Oh, occasionally the sky clears and the sun peeks out and we all run out to our yards to dump standing water (Zika!) and maybe try to plant something in the garden; but then the clouds come …

Sick Of This

I rode bicycles with Susie today, and I went to Costco, and I walked to the drugstore for more cough lozenges, because I AM STILL SICK. I keep trying to pretend that I am not (see above re cycling and shopping and walking), but I am. A friend suggested that maybe some real medical advice is in order, but I can't imagine what they would say. This doesn't feel bad enough to be pneumonia (well, most of the time) and I've crossed diphtheria off my list, since I'm still alive. What else is there?

Can you tell I really hate going to the doctor? HATE.

So I'm sitting here, sucking on my Ricolas and pretending I will feel better tomorrow. If you don't hear from me again, you can safely assume I dropped dead of menthol overdose. Is that even a thing? Should I Google it?

Subs Are A Food Group, Right?

In case you're wondering, I am STILL coughing. STILL popping Sudafed and Excedrin. STILL eating my weight in Ricola cough drops. I am trying to be brave, for the children's sakes, but I can only assume that I have undiagnosed tuberculosis.

The aforementioned children don't seem to mind that Mommy's sick, since that means they get to fend for themselves, nutrition-wise. Naturally, it's been like junk-food heaven around here lately. Still, we're running out of comestibles, junk and otherwise, so I am going to drag myself to Harris Teeter tomorrow and buy some more provisions. Which might mean the foot-long subs, if those are on sale - hey, they got us through the blizzard, right?

Rachel is running her first 5K tomorrow, with a group of Civil Air Patrol friends. To get ready, she has been running almost a mile nearly every morning. And I've been thrilled that this has given her an incentive to get out of bed before 10 AM this past month or so. Really, I've…

I'm NOT A Hoarder, I Just Look Like One

Remember that Mother's Day promise? How Larry was going to get my 7-year-old minivan detailed inside and out for me? Maybe even have that door gasket fixed, the one that insists on falling on a person's head as he/she climbs into the car?

Still waiting. I even went ahead and cleaned the junk out of the car, to make it easier. That means my car no longer looks as if it is owned by a hoarder with a penchant for collecting empty egg cartons and assorted plastic produce containers. I had been meaning to drop those off at the local farm for months, you know, so they can use them for their CSA, and yesterday was the day that I finally made that happen. Until yesterday, they'd been rattling around my minivan, piled on top of the girls' supplies for their weekly art class, falling out every single time I opened the back hatch.

I'll admit, it was getting a bit embarrassing to carpool.

So, I AM READY for my minivan makeover here. When I ask him, Larry keeps muttering some exc…


Over a year ago, in a fit of good intentions, I bought a 5-lb bag of frozen mixed veggies from Costco. 5 pounds! I was thinking I'd use them in my turkey pot pie recipe that I make from the leftover turkey at Thanksgiving and Christmas. Only, I hadn't made that recipe in ages, because my 2 older kids (who liked it) left home years ago, and 3 of the 4 remaining children are vegetarians. Larry likes it, though, I thought. No reason for him to be consigned to a life of mac-n-cheese and refried beans just because 3 of his offspring refuse to be omnivores, right?

Wrong. That bag has been sitting in my freezer for, I don't know, a year and a half? Every time I opened the freezer, I would see it and feel guilty. Or I did, until this week. THIS week, I received an automated call from Costco that told me this particular purchase is included in the frozen-veggies recall that has been in the news lately. You know, that bag was so old, I hadn't even bothered to check.

So I gleefu…

Gotta Get Me A Rocking Chair

Okay,  I had another nero day today (as commenter Harry so aptly described it yesterday). My voice is completely gone, I'm coughing up gunk from my lungs, and when I eat, my stomach hurts, which makes no sense at all. Every time I dropped off to sleep last night, I would immediately wake up feeling as though I were choking (hello, adult croup!), so I knew from the start that not a lot would get done today.

Only, NO. We had 3 (count them, 3!) doctor's appointments (none of which concerned my current plague), plus I had promised dinner to another family (not to mention my own), which meant I actually had to cook a real meal  (mac-n-cheese, with a side of buttered broccoli pre-chopped from Costco, because let's be realistic here). And that's how my not-very-restful sick day went down.

Don't worry, I made sure not to breathe on the finished product. I think my neighbors already look at me as though I am Typhoid Mary - no need to make things worse.

Somewhere in there, …

Fevered Maunderings

Yesterday I had to throw my largest mixing bowl on top of the HUGE wasp that was wandering around Rachel's bedroom floor. Then I waited for Larry to come home and do something with the monster.

I swear, I don't know what single moms do about these sort of problems. That creature looked big enough to lift small cars. Where the heck is my bug boyfriend when I need him?

The cold from hell is STILL here. I managed to ignore it Sunday and not only go to yoga class but also bike 20 miles with my Fit Friend, because, yes, we signed up again for the Tour de Cure and we have not trained at all. In 4 weeks, we have to bike 56 miles, and the 20 we did on Sunday almost killed us. Last night I went to Bunco, which must have been the last straw for my frail, pseudo-elderly self, because I spent the rest of the night feeling as though I were getting the flu.

I'm so much fun.

So today has been officially designated a do-nothing day. I mean, except for the science class carpool and, oh yea…

Music To My Ears

I STILL have the head cold from hell. Or maybe it is a new head cold from hell. I have no idea, but what is certain is that if I have to buy one more box of Sudafed from the pharmacy here, I'm going to have the DEA busting down my front door, looking for the meth lab.

I had the nerve to go to bed early last evening (see above, re head cold). This rarely happens, and when I had to get up at 3 AM to give Susie some Motrin (because now she is sick again, too, and will this ever stop?), I remembered why this rarely happens. I walked into the kitchen and found dishes in the sink, crap all over the kitchen table, floor unswept, etc.

If you will recall, this sort of thing has happened before, the last time I had the nerve to go to bed early. That was 8 years ago. And, yes, I AM still pissed off about it. All these years of training, and as soon as I close my eyes, what happens? NOTHING. It's as if these children never even heard me ranting all these years, "No one sits down unti…

Beauty School Dropout

Well, my brief stint in showbiz is over - we did the LTYM DC show yesterday, which felt almost anti-climactic after all the time I spent worrying about it. You see, I had a cold all day Friday and Saturday and envisioned myself at Sunday's performance sneezing and coughing through my entire reading. As it turns out, I pre-gamed with a ton of Sudafed and Excedrin and managed not to gross anyone out.

However, being drugged up and also in a minor fugue state from stage fright, I have no idea how my reading went. I vaguely recall people laughing, so that's good, right? I guess I will have to wait for the YouTube video, just like the rest of you.

I still have the cold from hell, plus I have post-show letdown. Fun.

A former LTYM DC cast member did our makeup. My whole face is heading south faster than a heavy speeding bullet dropped from an airplane, and it is scary to look at, almost like when the Nazis faces are melting at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark. The makeup artist app…