Showing posts from September, 2011

7 Quick Takes: Morbidity Edition

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I threw caution to the wind 2 days ago and ate some canteloupe. "What the heck!" reasoned my normally cautious (read “phobic”) self. I mean, the fruit wasn’t from Colorado or anything. But, judging from how I felt yesterday evening, we should avoid the melons from California, also. Anyone want the one left in my fridge?

On the bright side, I can snap my jeans shut now. Who needs Weight Watchers when you can have listeria instead?

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Actually, after gnawing on half a toasted bagel this morning, I still feel sick.  It occurs to me that, if I up and die, this blog will be the only extant record of my thoughts and feelings, the only indicator that I once walked through and communed via the Internet.  Maybe excerpts should be read at my funeral.  Feel free to suggest which posts would be most suitable.

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My dad and brother are visiting from NJ and brought bagels from that hallowed place.  If a bagel did have to be my last meal, I'm glad it was …

Simon Says

Wow!  I got 2 spam comments today!  That's never happened before.  I feel like a big-time blogger now.

I spent the day enjoying this tour d'esprit on workplace interactions -it gets funnier each time I read it (and yes, I know I am risking the Cheers syndrome here, but I don't care).  I'll even go out on a limb and say that, if you don't find it funny, you are simply dead inside.

Look, if you don't click, you won't know what I'm talking about.  It's worth it, I promise.  Skip voting for me, if you must; but  click on the link to read "10 Formal Complaints" and learn why it's important to have a sense of humor.

You're Welcome

What's beautiful about blogging is realizing just how much we have to share with each other - sorrows, joys, life lessons learned.  And then, well, there is moi - I get to share vomit tips.   Anymommy was complaining about how much she dreaded the stomach flu, as she hated to have to puke into a pee-smelling toilet.  I informed her in the comment section that a much better option for the busy mother of several children is to remain standing and throw up into the kitchen sink (note: make sure said sink has a disposal to get rid of...well, you know...).

I mean, really, have you ever read that bit of advice in a parenting book?  I think not.  Believe me, that was a hard-won piece of knowledge. And - get this - Anymommy pronounced the idea "brilliant."  I am beyond flattered.  I'd no idea I had so much to offer the blogosphere.  Heloise, honey, move over - there's a new gal in town.

Well!  If that selection of barfing wisdom was worth anything to you, fee…

Technical Difficulties

For those of you who haven't been able to comment (which seems to have been everyone), I fixed it.  Sarah tells me it is because of the new Blogger interface that I'm using, so I switched back to the old Blogger and updated the post.  That's about as far as my technical expertise will take me, however.  I mean, I didn't even have any idea that I was "interfacing."  So don't start sending emails full of words like "html" and "template" and such - I won't know what to do.  You're dealing with a typing chimp here, remember?

But if you feel like voting for a puzzled primate, go right ahead - I haven't managed to slip down to last place quite yet.

Not Yet Famous

I noticed that someone named "Sears" commented this morning on my post Appliance Mindgames  and for a moment I thought, "At last! I've been recognized as a leading opinion maker and am being offered free appliances from a major appliance manufacturer!"

Amazing what can flit through my mind in approximately half a second, isn't it?

Anyway, the comment in its entirety read thusly:

Your blog really very good and i voted to you. 
Sentiment appreciated, for sure; but apparently my ship has NOT yet come in.
But at least I have not yet fallen to the bottom of the Big Family blog rankings at Circle of Moms.  Vote for me to save me from certain ignominy and disgrace.  Thanks.

Camping Post Mortem

Larry and I have perfected the art of always, but always, having all maps but the ones we need in the car during a road trip.  Our camping trip this past week was no exception.  Thus, we were forced to get our bearings by consulting one of those very vague maps found in a state-specific travel guide. 

Where are we, exactly?
Well, we are east of Big City A and west of Big City B.

I don't think it's good driving to bang your head on the steering wheel like that, do you?  And no, we do not have GPS.  Sometimes David will read the MapQuest directions aloud in a GPS-like voice, however, just to make us feel more modern.

I will NEVER trust a weather forecast again.  I mean, unless "scattered showers" really does mean "constant torrential downpour."  If so, then nailed it.

On the bright side, our brand-new used pop-up camper does not leak.  And I got to spend the entire camping trip reminding the kids not to get mud inside our canvas/aluminu…

Recession Silver Lining

In case you need a good start-up business idea for these hard economic times, I've got one for you right here:

I'm still away camping, but I wanted you all to have first crack at this surefire moneymaker.

The Camping Life For Me

But despite that, off we go tomorrow for 2 nights in the great outdoors.  Now that we've bought a pop-up camper, we have to feel as though we are getting our money's worth out of it.  Plus, I long ago extracted a promise from Larry that, if I went camping, he'd do all the cooking.  It pays to play hard to get, you know.

You know, I just realized I never announced that we are now the proud owners of a 2006 Quicksilver 10.0 (sleeps 6).  Here you all bothered to give your advice on whether we should buy a camper and, ingrate that I am, I never got back to you on that. As it turns out, we went to see the camper with the youngest 3 in tow.  We probably should have thought that through better, as having 3 kids climbing with delight all over a camper and asking, "Can we live in it?  Can we?  Let's sleep in it tonight!" does not exactly improve one's bargaining position.

Anywhoo, we made probably the ONLY impulsive decision of our entire married lives (remember,…

7 Quick Takes: Procrastination Edition

I was listening to a movie review for "Contagion," which has Matt Damon in it so of course I am going to want to see it no matter what the reviewer says.  Anyway, as an example of the witty writing in the movie, the review served up this bit:

"Blogging?  That's not writing.  Blogging is just graffiti with punctuation."

Now where is my spray can, anyway?

We went from August to November here within the space of about 2 days.  I know I have complained before about it taking only 8.2 seconds to get from September 1 to December 31st; but, really, this is ridiculous.  We ended up having to turn the heat on in the house, something we wouldn't have had to do if I had had my accustomed amount of time (known to others as "autumn") to take care of my summer weight gain.  As it is, I still can't manage to squeeze my jeans over my long johns.   I need at least another month of counting Weight Watcher's points to be able to perform that particul…

I Heart The Blogosphere

A resounding round of applause for RobinH is in order.  Because she used to work as a design engineer for a company that makes appliance seals (or so she says, hmmphs my unbelieving husband), RobinH was able to explain to me that it is indeed possible that my dishwasher has stopped leaking without any assistance from us.  Hard to believe, eh, that one of my readers possessed the exact expertise needed to explain this problem?  I was a little skeptical, too, until she started throwing around words such as "rotating seal" and "main shaft seal" and generously mixing them with layman's terms I could understand such as "crud." Thanks to RobinH, you may no longer have to hear me whine about this particular appliance.

Long-time readers may recall that this is not the first time RobinH has come to my rescue.  She generously donated time and pixels to me last year when I complained that I did not have the technological know-how to make a de-lurking button for…

Appliance Mindgames

Where have I been?  I don't know.  But while I was gone, someone sent me an email claiming that I was top 25 something-or-other at Circle of Moms.  That's nice.  Then I clicked over there and saw there was voting going on and 3 people had voted for me.  I felt that was really good, considering I'm not even sure what the voting is for.  It could have been voting on which of the 25 should be kicked out of the blogosphere first.

Oh, wait - now I see - we're supposed to be competing for Top 25 big family blogs, I think.  The last thing I was invited to compete for was the Imperfect Parent Award, which only netted me a very gaudy trophy.   So I'm not sure it's even worth asking anyone to go on over and vote for me .  On the other hand, it's embarrassing to be sitting there with 4 votes (I just voted) while everyone else has more.  Sort of screams LOSER, you know?  I mean, I don't mind being a loser; but I don't need that fact shoved in my face, as it we…

What 9/11 Gave Us

I had the radio on during our late breakfast today, listening to the ceremony at 9/11.  "This is important," I told my 3 youngest as they slurped their sugary bowls of goodness and bickered over the Sunday comics.  "Shhh - listen."  Silence reigned for a full minute or so as they finished their breakfasts and then was shattered by the scraping of chairs and the clanging of spoons in the sink.  "Can we go out, Mommy?" Rachel and Susie asked.  "We want to go outside!"

I hesitated.  Shouldn't I keep them inside, get them to listen to some history, discuss the significance of the day with them?  Just for a few minutes before they went on with their normal activities?  The girls were standing there, waiting, the only two members of our family born since that fateful day 10 years ago - they wouldn't have been here if my husband had happened to be in the wrong place that morning.  Their standing there, alive, is significant, in that life for u…
Sing it, Pete!  While it is true that unions have plenty of faults, I would hate to return to being a country without them.  Happy Labor Day, everyone!

[Labor image: Nation of Change]

7 Quick Takes: KoolAid Mom Edition

Please, learn more NOW about the Giant Internet Hand of Spanking.  You'll be glad you did.  Really.

My dishwasher continues its  dripping.  But I'm still happy with it.  Nothing like prolonged deprivation to make one appreciate even the rudiments of civilization.  Sort of like camping, actually...


The neighborhood children (including mine) are all outside playing a rousing game of kickball.  I have no idea how they teleported themselves back to the 1960's, but I am grateful for it.  Next thing you know, they'll come running in asking me for KoolAid.  Which I will dispense from a smiley-face pitcher, of course...

 Have I mentioned my dishwasher?  Oh, I have?  Do you understand how wonderful it is not to plan my meals around how few dishes it will require me to wash afterwards?  I might even start cooking for real again.  And now I don't have to yell at the children for using 10 knives to make 3 peanut butter and jelly sandwic…