Showing posts from July, 2011

Endless Summer

Tomorrow?  August.

You know what that means, don't you?  There's an entire month of summer vacation left, 2 months of summer weather to survive, and 3 months until the mosquitoes stop biting us.  (Yes, Halloween - if we're lucky, we get a frost by then.)

Now, I don't know about you, but we've really taken summer by the horns here.  I mean, we swung right into it, going to the pool, attending band camp, eating Italian ices and popsicles, ordering pizza for dinner (6 dollars on Monday nights!), toasting marshmallows, family camping, family name it, we've done it.  Every. Single. Day.  For 6 weeks.

August?  Simply redundant.  The bloom is off the rose, as far as this summer season goes.  Still in the 90's, still going to the pool, still eating popsicles...

You know, I think I'm already dreaming of a white Christmas.

 [endless summer image:]
[summer fun image: RenovateStudents]
[Christmas tree: 123RF]

7 Quick Takes: Camping Tips Edition

[Howdy to all of you stopping by from BlogHer!  Besides camping survival advice, we've got advice on several other topics here: how to know that you have too many kids, for instance, or tips on teenager management,  or how to handle  sibling fighting...just to name a few.  Or, if you prefer, check out how 20 years of parenting vastly changes the things you worry about.  And don't forget our old standby's - mice and vomit.  They're here, too.  So stick around a bit - and if you get hungry, just go to the fridge and grab some salsa.  We have plenty.]

 Remember to take advantage of your remote location by sitting out and looking up at all the stars in the sky.  I would add that it is important to do this on the first evening, as the rain on subsequent evenings may prevent you from pursuing this particular activity.

Bring crowd-pleasing food.  Sure, my children may be suffering a nitrite overdose; but I heard nary a complaint as we dished out baked beans and hot …

The Family That Camps Together...

We've been busy getting ready to go camping for a few days.  Yup - you know me, Miss Outdoorsy, I yearn to sleep on the ground and eat baked beans from a can and be bitten by mosquitoes non-stop.  Doesn't all that just scream "vacation" to you?

I blame the economy.  Andbedbugs...and the humidity...we're heading for higher elevations where (so the website claims) the climate is more like Canada's.  Dear Lord, let that be true.

I keep repeating to myself, "This will be fun.  This WILL be fun.  This will be FUN."  But I'm no fool.  I'm thinking the only benefit to this type of family getaway will be my happiness upon returning to my air-conditioned  home.  It's like banging your head against the wall - it feels so good when you stop.  Not that I know anything about that...

In the meantime, it took Larry and I several hours to figure out that - considering our minivan is packed to the gills for a non-camping vacation - it stands to reason tha…

And Now For A Little Fresh Air

I'll admit it - I've been sulking.  My summer isn't shaping up quite as I had envisioned it (I blame Larry, as he steadfastly refuses to buy me a summer home on Martha's Vineyard) and I started feeling sorry for myself, being trapped in our current hellhole of heat and humidity while EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WHOLE WORLD gets to spend a week or two or three at the beach or a mountain lake or whatever.

And then I got this email from someone named Sara Wilson.  She works for the Fresh Air Fund, placing inner-city kids with suburban families like mine. Sara says that there are still many children on her waiting list, kids who would consider it a really neat treat to spend a week or two living in what I term a hellhole, going to the pool and eating popsicles and playing outside on one of the 3000 old scooters we have lying around the house.  And if it got too hot outside? Why, they would probably be thrilled to spend some time in our air-conditioned abode, playing Othello or Leg…

Heat Wave

Today?  It was only 89 and I refused to turn on the AC.  I figure that way, when it gets even hotter this week, life will seem great by comparison.  Although, when you see "100" on the weather report (and that's not even "real feel"), there isn't much you can do to make things seem okay.  Aside from stocking up on popsicles, of course...

Tell me, exactly how hot does it have to get before one risks spontaneously combusting?

Luckily, I've already signed Susie up for vacation bible school this week.  Although I wasn't able to follow through on the plans I made last year, which involved signing the girls up for every VBS within a 5-mile radius of our house, it wasn't for lack of trying.  Turns out that too many churches have VBS the exact same week of the summer - I guess they are on to me and my wily schemes.  Still, for a mere 10 dollars, I have 15 glorious hours of free time the next 5 mornings.  I think I'll spend it catching up on housewo…

7 Quick Takes: Post Harry Potter Edition

We've entered a new era, folks - the After Harry Potter years (AHP, for short).  Will kids stop reading?  Will booksellers go out of business en masse?  Can anyone think of something to look forward to now that the final movie has been produced and viewed?  Dark times, I'm telling you - we're living in dark times...


Because Larry and I are obsessed with having enough money to live on when we are old and decrepit, we don't tend to take our kids to the movies.  So last night was the first time David had actually seen a movie in a real live movie theater.  While he stood in line for our seats, I visited the concession stand and came back with a tub of popcorn and 2 large cokes (hey, it was a special occasion, all right?).  I handed him his soda.

"What's this?" he asked.

"It's your Coke, enjoy!" I told him.

"But...this is huge.  There must be a quart of liquid in here."

"It was the same price as the small, once I boug…

Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows Eve

That doesn't sound right.  But, yes, I'm going.  I can't allow my 14-year-old to miss this seminal cultural event.  And we all know from past experience that Larry, while an adventure-loving guy, is simply not up to these Harry Potter events. If you care to join us at midnight tonight, I'll be the short, scared-looking Muggle clutching a bottomless popcorn while sipping from a vat-sized cup of Coca-Cola. When in Rome, you know...

News You Can't Use

The BBC news website tells me that Scientists in Scotland Decode Potato Genome - and the question here is "Why?"  Were they bored?  Hungry?  Are they trying to clone waffle fries? 

None of the above - they were decoding it in order to boost potato harvests.  Because there just aren't enough french fries in this world already...

In related news, there's this humdinger in the Washinton Post: Adult Obesity Increases in 16 States.  It says, and I quote, "Adult obesity rates increased in 16 states in the past year and did not decline in any state, according to an annual report from the Trust for America’s Health and the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation."  In other words, lay off the french fries, people!  Or at least stop eating them while you are driving around in your cars.

I'm thinking those Scottish scientists should be decoding the celery genome instead, no?

And, yes, I did use the word "humdinger" up there.  I'm turning into Colonel Potter f…

Condiment Craziness

My kids have had some form of hotdogs 4 nights running now.

The reduced-fat Hebrew National kind, though - I'm nothing if not health-conscious.

The 3 youngest eat hotdogs with ketchup instead of mustard.  Now, if God had meant for us to eat hotdogs with ketchup, he wouldn't have given us tastebuds.  I can't even watch them eat like that; it makes me sick.  This is what happens when a Jew marries a goy - the children grow up confused.

And, yes, that's all I've got tonight.  I'm pretty worn out, what with all the microwaving I had to do for dinner tonight.

[Hotdog image:]

Who Needs BBQ?

Unfortunately, it's this version of God Bless the USA which keeps running through my head today...

Happily, being irreverent is one of the freedoms we happen to be celebrating.