Showing posts from June, 2010

Suddenly Summer

I'm still here; but the summer schedule change has me running hither and yon keeping children busy. We handed Brian a rented trumpet and plunked him in band camp; Rachel hangs out at her art teacher's house 6 hours a day, painting and cooking and doing embroidery - all the things I would be doing with her if I were not totally burned out on the creativity-with-kids scene.

And Susie? Well, we're referring to this season as Susie's Car Summer. She rides around with me, dropping siblings off at various locations, going to Weight Watchers weigh-ins, visiting Target. It's like camp, only less fun.

David has returned from Civil Air Patrol camp, taller (I swear!), thinner, and still happy about the ride he took in a Blackhawk helicopter. Considering that he refuses to get on the Tilt-a-Whirl at our local fair, Larry and I find this scenario hard to believe.

And now that we showed the older kids Batman last night (as part of our educational Jack Nicholson summerfest), D…

Pass The Popcorn

Last night I discovered that Larry and I had neglected an important part of our oldest child's education.

"Look what I got from the library," I said, waving a DVD at Theo and Larry. "A Few Good Men - it has Jack Nicholson in it!"

"Who's Jack Nicholson?" asked my firstborn.

Look, I never claimed homeschooling is perfect, all right?

In an effort to fill in the gaps for Theo, we are embarking on a Jack Nicholson retrospective this summer. First on my list is Batman (and yes, I did see that one - it came out before I started having kids). Does anyone have any more suggestions? Remember, it has to be something I wouldn't be embarrassed watching with my 18-year-old son - I don't mind profanity; but scenes of graphic, uh, romance are out.


Still enjoying my IPod Touch and adding apps daily - who knew a grocery list could be such fun?

[photo credit:]

Hello, 21st Century!

Yes, I did have a great birthday - thank you for asking. I'm sure that the folks working in the T-Mobile store and at the Apple emporium didn't have too good a time, though, what with Miss Neanderthal here spending a few hours pestering them with questions about smart phones and contract costs and "how do you work this thing anyway?"-type inquiries. That's what I did with my glorious free time - I researched how best to catch up with the rest of the world, technologically speaking. I learned enough to realize that Larry and I can't afford smartphones or even an IPad. So I moved right on to IPods, admiring all the fun colors of the Nano and marveling at the Internet connectivity of the IPod Touch. In fact, I was fondling the cheapest IPod Touch (the 8-GB model) and reminding myself that, no, I didn't need it and that I could be perfectly happy with a purple Nano when a gentleman and his preteen son walked up to the display table.

Mulch Ado About Nothing

LET ME EXPLAIN: I am notgiving Larry mulch for Father's Day so that he will spread it in the yard and make me happy. That would be a nasty trick, akin to his giving me lingerie fit for a trollop because....well, I don't have to explain that one, do I? No, I bought the mulch as part of a bigger plan: we all worked on the yard while Larry wasn't here - weeding, raking, and mulching - so he won't have to.

Needless to say, the children weren't thrilled with this idea. They would have much preferred to present Larry with our usual Father's Day gift - a bag of cherry-cordial-filled Hershey's kisses that he then shares with them. (Every family has its traditions. Ours are just more boring than most.) But I've decided that, starting with Father's Day, this will be the year of giving selflessly. I do hope the children catch on to this concept quickly, seeing as how my birthday is on Monday.

And how much do I hate sharing my birthday weekend with Father&…

7 Quick Takes: The Abridged Edition

I got up early, cooked a healthy breakfast, and sewed a patch on David's Civil Air Patrol uniform. All before 8 AM!

This behavior is a little worrisome. Next thing you know, I'll be happily washing windows.


Rachel has recovered alarmingly quickly from her adenoidectomy. Ice cream must have amazing curative powers.


David leaves tomorrow for Encampment - 10 days of being yelled at and bossed around, in 95-degree heat (and high humidity), along with his Civil Air Patrol buddies. He can't wait. Which only goes to show y'all how teen boys belong to a different species than we grown-ups.


Theo is raking in a small fortune this summer (ooh - I didn't even see that pun coming!), mulching people's yards and trimming their shrubbery. Which makes me feel less bad about all the free babysitting he's providing...


Susie (aka She Who Is Hopelessly Spoiled But Not In A Cute Way) informed me yesterda…

The Ice Cream Cure

As related here before, Susie received a Razor scooter from Grandpa for her birthday. I just noticed the caution label on the handle:

This product moves when being used.

What has this country come to, eh?


Rachel had her adenoids removed this morning. Wimp that I am, I made sure Larry took the morning off in order to escort her to her outpatient surgery. And being squeamish, I didn't go into a lot of details with Rachel ahead of time about what would happen. Her takeaway being that she was going to get a LOT of ice cream after the "procedure," she was excited about getting in the car with Daddy early this morning. She reminded me of my childhood dog jumping happily into the car for a "ride," only to be driven to the much-hated veterinarian for shots or whatever.

Things went fine, however. She's back home and snoozing on the couch, her tummy full of frozen confections. She's refusing to take the pain meds, though. As luck would ha…

Sweet Sorrow? I Think Not.

The blogosphere is a diminished version of its former self today.

No blog is an island, entire of itself; every blog is a piece of the Internet, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less...any blog's death diminishes me, because I am (way too much) involved in the blogosphere...

RIP, Women's Colony. Alas, we hardly knew ye! You were a place for authentic women's voices to be heard, a site where sensitive issues were discussed, a well of collective feminine wisdom and support that is hard to come by in these days of scattered families and busy lives.

And, of course, there was the mancake in that lovely Cabana of yours...

Fare thee well, beloved Mrs G - I am forever indebted to you for the laughs and the thoughtful prose. The thought of blogging without you is almost too much to bear.

Welcome Home

Where have I been? Oh, getting a decent night's sleep, reading an honest-to-goodness book with paragraphs consisting of more than 3 sentences apiece, cleaning up our back deck which was about to be featured on the cover of White Trash Home and Garden, just to name a few things....

Larry came home from a week-long business trip today bearing gifts. Not having recovered from the sardine incident in April, I was a tad leery of what he would bring me. True to form, he pulled out of his suitcase a box of chocolates shaped and wrapped to look like 6 Swiss Army knives. (Undoubtedly an improvement over dead fish, but still...) Apparently, my giving away the chocolate sardines to the loser at Bunko last month had not sent him the right message.

"Ha, ha!" I said, trying to be a good sport. "Funny! So, uh, did you get anything else?" Larry handed me a square, thin black envelope that contained a thin slab of chocolate. Really, it looked like chocolate rations you&#…

Early To Bed...

I've got nothing. Sorry. Not even something funny to link to! Anyone seen anything funny lately?

But for now I must get to bed - David's birthday is tomorrow (and, yes, I will have yet another teenager less than 24 hours from now) and something tells me he expects a cake. At least he isn't asking for any space-travel-themed concoction this year...

Self-Hating, Interfering, And Unrealistic

[Check out the first comment below. Michaela has generously offered the use of her continent to ease Israeli-Palestinian tensions. Those Australians are so friendly!]

Sorry, folks - but there are a few issues to clear up. I received a number of comments on the Israel post the other day (some of which were too rude to publish in the comments section) - the gist of them being that

I'm a self-hating Jew (predicted that one!)As an American Jew, what Israel does is none of my business.
I'm an unrealistic peacenik who essentially wants to stick daisies in gun barrels and scrawl peace signs on Katyusha rockets.
I would like to agree that Israel's actions are none of my business, but it isn't true. When American Jews see our gov't making poor policy decisions based on its friendship with Israel, decisions that jeopardize our relations with other important allies, we need to speak up. When we see Israel committing (or, at best, allowing) humanitarian crimes in the name o…

Israel: WTF?

I know I come across as only being interested in the inconsequential, but I've actually been spending all my spare time following the flotilla crisis. No kids, no vomit, no mice - just 40 years of poor domestic policy on the part of the Israelis and at least a decade of lousy foreign policy on our part, all coming home to roost in a situation where a good ally of ours (Turkey) is rightly furious, another ally of ours (Israel) is manipulating evidence, and the White House is dithering. Oh, and nine people are dead. And journalists' photos and tapes are confiscated.

[That link up there, and the articles and blogs it links to, are really informative. Much better than this stuff I'm spouting here...]

My generation of American Jews was brainwashed to believe that criticism of Israeli policies is de facto anti-Semitic. Any Jew who dared question Israeli conduct in the West Bank, or Gaza, or anywhere else in the world was labeled "self-hating." It was an effecti…

Art Linkletter Was Right

Today? Was the moment of truth.

90 degrees


Nothing to do

"Let's go to the pool!" the bored children cried. And, realizing that delaying yet another week would not make me any thinner or the varicose veins on my legs any less prominent, I said, "Okay! Let's go!" with an enthusiasm that I believe bordered on the heroic.

I proceeded to pack up towels, locate the sunscreen, order the children into swimsuits, and accomplish all the other myriad tasks required for an aquatic pilgrimage with kids. At one point during this flurry of activity, Susie walked into my room. "Are we going yet?" she asked.

"Pretty soon, sweetie - I just have to get changed myself," I told her.

"Yes," Susie said, in a sage tone not usually employed by a 5-year-old, a tone replete with an appreciation of the challenges of middle age. "You have to try and squeeze into your swimsuit.", that's one way to put it. I just di…

Nostalgia: Not All It's Cracked Up To Be

We've come a long way, ladies!

[Thanks to The Obnoxious SAHM for finding this gem.]

Stuff To Worry About

I wish I knew why I read all the health articles available on line. It's almost obsessive. But, hey - sometimes I learn something important. Take this article, for example - now I know that 3 burgers a week ups kids' asthma risk.

Burgers, huh? I guess we should switch to hotdogs, then?

Oh, and here's something a little mind-blowing: Nearly 64 percent of teen boys said it's OK for an unmarried female to have a child, up from 50 percent in 2002. More than 70 percent of teen girls agreed, up from 65 percent, though the female increase was not statistically significant.Tell me - why are they asking teens this question? Are teens the new experts on what it takes to raise a kid? This is just weird. And 70 percent of teen girls think its okay to be a single mom? I knew teen girls tend to be brain dead, but I didn't really want statistical proof.

Ah, finally - a little something to feed my hypochondria habit. Who knew that my tendency toward migraines doubles my …

What's Forever For?

Al and Tipper....really?

This news article about Al and Tipper's separation states that "...the Gores, over time, had carved out separate lives, with the former vice president on the road frequently" campaigning worldwide to draw attention to climate change. Does that mean that we can blame global warming for this, too?