Showing posts from August, 2009

Condiment Overload

I got back from work late Friday evening, only to discover some food that still needed to be put away in the kitchen. Normally, I would be annoyed; but given our recent vinaigrette fiasco, I could hardly blame Larry for his reluctance to cram more leftovers into our icebox. Really, only a trained professional should even attempt such a task.

So I did. And I came up with a diagnosis of our problem:

Obviously, a serious case of Condiment Overload. Specifically, 2 bottles of applesauce, 3 mustards, 3 strawberry jams, 4 (count them, 4) tubs of margarine, and (of course) 4 jars of salsa.

Naturally, I decided to take pictures. And it occurred to me, as I aimed the camera, pausing now and then to tweak the lineup, that if Larry happened to come downstairs at that point, he might wonder why I was standing in the kitchen at midnight, snapping photos of mustard and margarine. And he might also reflect on the fact that, although we have many posed pictures of foodstuffs in our photo gallery…

7 (Really) Quick Takes

Gosh, I love putting that picture up there - makes me feel that my blog is a part of something big, something meaningful...Sitting in Starbucks, lo, these many evenings, has brought me into reluctant contact with people who talk loudly enough to let me (and everyone else in the vicinity) know all the intimate details of their lives. It's fascinating. I'm not getting much work done, though.Let me elaborate. Their lives aren't fascinating. What's fascinating is their belief that they should - nay, must - regale their (mostly silent) coffee companions and all the perfect strangers around them with the minutiae of their existence. How does a person get that self-involved?Says the person who has a blog all about herself and her life....Susie is saying she's bored. That is, when she isn't saying a lot of other stuff that is hard to understand, because my mind shuts down after the first few thousand words or so. Someone remind me - what does one do with a 4-yea…

Technological Romance

Okay, it's time to see what happens when West Side Story meets the 21st century:

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Grasping At Straws

While adjusting this week to my oldest having flown the nest, I realized that while children do grow up and leave, there is still a relationship in my life that is until-death-do-us-part forever, a comforting constant in an ever-changing world; and it's a relationship that I have been sorely neglecting of late. Yes, that's right, ladies - my refrigerator has been crying out for attention, in the only way it knows how.

The other night Larry managed to spill an entire container of homemade salad dressing in my over-crowded, crying-out-for-help refrigerator. That's when I realized it was time to focus on my refrigerator's needs instead of mine for a while. Because, really? Green globe grapes doused in vinaigrette are not ever going to be the hot new thing in the culinary world.

So we both dove in and removed all the vinaigrette-drenched items, and I got to hear Larry say things like, "What's this second jar of salsa doing open?" Yeah, I know - he must li…

Learning All The Time

As regular readers will recall, I managed to land my dream job a couple of months ago - Editing! Work from home! Set my own hours! - a job I was determined not to look too stupid at.

So, that first week, when my supervisor and I couldn't figure out why I wasn't seeing what she was seeing on her computer screen....we e-mailed back and forth a bit and then she e-mailed, "Here's a screenshot - is your left column the same as mine?", it wasn't. Not wanting to be wordy, I decided to send a screenshot back. So I took a few pictures of my screen with my camera, downloaded them to my computer, pasted the best one into a Word doc, and zapped it over to her. I spent the rest of the day preening myself on my technological savviness. Yo, 21st-century! I'm all over ya!

When my husband came home, I proudly recounted what I had done.

"You didn't," he said.
"Yes! I did! I figured it out all by myself!"
"You didn't," h…

In Which I Sound Maudlin...

Theo's Larry said, "One launched, five to go!" Larry and I felt great yesterday, knowing that Theo was off to college with his ROTC money and the guarantee of at least 4 years in the military after that. We rejoiced that, for the time being at least, we could stop interfering in his life and let him try his wings.

I should have checked his suitcases and boxes before he left, however. It appears that Theo inadvertently took 18 years of my life with him, perhaps packed in among the bed linens (X-Long Twin) or maybe in the box with his winter clothes. He took with him the pregnant 28-year-old who worried throughout her first pregnancy that she wouldn't love her own child. He took the young mother who assiduously read aloud to him while he nursed, devoured all the parenting books she could get her hands on once he was born, and generally acted in a totally nauseating, new-parent, know-it-all fashion for the first 5 years or so of his life. He took with h…

Vacation Advice

Before making the spontaneous decision to hike up the highest mountain on the island with the 4 younger kids, take into consideration that one of the children is only 4 years old, you yourself are wearing flip-flops, and a trail labeled moderate by the National Park Service might be anything but.When, against all odds, you get to the top of said mountain and espy the parking lot full of cars driven by people who are apparently too fat/lazy/smart to drag themselves up the mountain the hard way, do refrain from snatching the cameras away from these people's faces and shouting, “You have to earn this view, dammit!” Such behavior embarrasses your spouse.Laundromats are expensive. Go naked.Menfolk, please realize it is the menopause talking when your wife spends the first evening in your nice vacation cottage crying because the top sheet on your bed is not only rust-colored with an ugly floral pattern but also has a ruffle that sticks in one's face.Remember to pack every containe…

Bon Voyage, For Real...

I'm really taken with this piece.   I think it's fascinating not only for what it says about marriage, but also for what it says about those of us at midlife. Read it and discuss...if I can find a Starbucks along the way, I'll join in. 

Trip?  Oh, yes - Larry's outside, trying to pack the car.  And I'm inside, goofing off.   I ran up and down the stairs approximately 1700 times yesterday, packing and doing laundry and being generally disorganized.  When I wasn't running up and down the stairs, I was feeding children and bathing children and sorting knitting...

I deserve this break and no one's gonna guilt me out of it.

Our neighbor (the one whose cartop carrier we're using) offered to lend us a portable TV/DVD player for the car.  We turned her down.  I have a feeling we're going to regret that particular piece of stupidity around about 4 hours from now. 

I checked the weather report for up north.  It's ridiculous.  "Sunny and pleasant&quo…

Adieu, Not Good-bye

Forget it, guys; just forget it.  I was going to write a chatty post, all about world events (Bill Clinton? Has Hillary let him out?) and the latest gov't estimate of what how much it costs to raise a child (last year's estimate debunked here) and the fact that our house came this close to burning down yesterday.

When you teach your children to cook, do emphasize the part about not leaving the room when there's a pot (with oil) heating up on the stove.  It's important.

But we're leaving tomorrow (tomorrow!) and I still have to finish going through my stash and deciding which yarn to bring; and then I need to locate all the requisite knitting needles; and then I'll be running to the store to pick up a new pair of snips (because I can't find the 16,000 pairs that are hidden in this house).  Along with doing umpteen loads of laundry so we can pack our clothes and cleaning the house so I'm not embarrassed posthumously....

So, y'all will have to carry on…

I Blog, Therefore I Am

Is everyone away or are people just tired of me? Do you miss the vomit, is that it? Ah, well, I've been fairly busy myself, packing and trying to mentally prepare myself for 13 hours in the car with the kids. I've also been steeling myself for an impending 12 days without the Internet.

I don't know if I can do it, folks. The lack of Internet, that is...I mean, what if while I am away, I miss something like this gem? [posted at The Opiate of the Masses]

How did we entertain ourselves before the advent of the Internet, anyway?

Larry took the entire crew to the teens' workcamp reunion picnic, leaving me home alone to work in the blessed peace and quiet. I don't know if the younger kids were actually invited, but guys can get away with being clueless like that. And they brought brownies.

By the way, all you husbands out there - listen up! When your wives remind you to take all the freshly-baked brownies to the picnic? "All" means "all but two.&quo…


Shocking, but true: I finished the Baby Surprise Jacket! See? Right up there? The thing that looks like a worsted manta ray? Imagine my dismay, after laboring 145 days (well, off and on) completing a 12-day knitalong, to find that my finished project did not resemble a wearable garment.

Nevertheless, I persevered; after more configurations than one would believe possible for a single piece of knitting, I managed to properly align this magnum opus of mine into a jacket-like posture. Again, ta-da!

No buttons yet, though...don't rush me...

[And yes, all you sharp-eyed knitters - the gauge is totally off, even though I sized down on the needles. What do you get when you knit something at 4.5 stitches to the inch instead of 6? I'll tell you what you get - you get a baby surprise jacket that fits your 4-year-old, only with very short sleeves. But that's all right - my friend has a pleasantly plump 8-month-old baby who won't mind one bit wearing a maxicoat this fall.]